Overcoming Unhappiness!

by myvaadmin on April 23, 2012

| by Murphy Toerner | 

There are many reasons why one struggles with being unhappy. A disappointing event; an unmet need; a thwarted goal; a traumatic past; a current betrayal orinjury. All of these could precipitate unhappiness, if not down right depression.

To overcome unhappiness which is caused by any of the above, one needs to process (deal with or walk through) what has happened and what they need to do to regain their emotional balance and stability; their sense of emotional well-being.

Sometimes we can find ourselves living in perpetual unhappiness and it is not solely brought about by an event, unmet need, etc. … It is brought about because of what we “think” (what we tell ourselves in our heads) about various events. Let me explain. Jesus tells us in the Gospel of John that, “you shall know the truth and the truth will set you free.” So, if we don’t tell ourselves the truth about a certain subject or event, we probably are not going to keep our emotional balance.

Many people have come to see the practical application of this biblical truth. It is not what happens to us that make us unhappy or depressed, as it is our interpretation of what has happened. It is the “significance” we attach to an event that actually makes us unhappy or depressed. The truth is that many events in our lives are actually “neutral.” Our interpretation of them and their significance is up to us. So we see that we need to be careful how we CHOOSE to interpret what has happened. We have to be careful in CHOOSING the “sginificance” we attach to an event.

The cool thing is when we begin the process of taking responsibility for our individual emotional state, we can make great strides in learning to be “more than a conqueror” (Romans 8). We can actually be empowered by the Holy Spirit to become more resilient than we were in the past. When we choose to be careful about how we interpret events and the significance we attach to these events, what we are doing is operating with the “mind of Christ.” His “mind,” His “way of thinking” brings increased stability to us. Centered, Christ-like thinking usually produces centered, Christ-like emotional responses. By walking in the Spirit more consistently, we actually become more balanced, more stable, and more whole.

When we initially hear something that seems to go against the grain of what we have believed for a long time, we are skeptical. We adamantly challange the “new idea.” Please prayerfully consider what is being presented here and try to apply it in some way and see how it can make a difference in your long-term responses to daily events.

Begin by embracing a few truths:

* I am responsible for my emotional well-being
* Many, if not most, events in my life are “neutral”
* I attach significance or meaning to these events
* I can choose to bring God into my circumstances and try to see things from His perspective.
* Examine the significance you are attaching to the the event
* Examine how you are interpreting the event
* Challenge yourself to “tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth” about the event
* Take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ (2 Cor. 10:4-6)
* Choose to “renew your mind” (Romans 12:2)
* Ask God to help you and empower you to do this

Try the above and see how they make a difference!

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Shame and Guilt

by myvaadmin on April 21, 2012

Understanding Shame and Guilt

  1. Godly Shame (Healthy Shame)
    • Godly shame is based on our understanding that we are not God.
  • We have limitations and boundaries and we understand the benefit of staying within Godly boundaries.
  • We feel good about ourselves; as Christians we are not only part of His creation, we are members of God’s Eternal Family … we are princes among men and princesses among women.
  • We feel acceptable and accepted by God because of what He has done for us.
    • Godly shame produces a sense of humility.
    • It is the source of our spirituality in that we increasingly know our need for God.
    • Godly shame brings us close to God; we turn our heart and face toward Him.
  1. Worldly Shame (Unhealthy Shame)
    • This shame causes one to feel defective.
  • One has not done something wrong, they are inherently wrong or defective.
  • Satan uses Worldly Shame to beat us down and destroy our “God-esteem.”
  • Satan’s goal has not changed: he continues to steal, kill, and destroy and he uses unhealthy shame to accomplish this.
    • When we make a mistake – an error of any kind revealing the fact that we are imperfect – an overwhelming feeling of shame, a feeling less-than or worthless, can come over us.
    • Shame of the world leaves us with the feeling (or thoughts) that “I am a bad person” or “I am a defective person”.  We feel that our less-than-good-enough status has been exposed.
    • Satan and sinful people are the authors of this shame.

 

  1. Godly Guilt (Healthy Guilt) – 2 Corinthians 7:9-10 (The Message)

“I know I distressed you greatly with my letter. Although I felt awful at the time, I don’t feel at all bad now that I see how it turned out. The letter upset you, but only for a while. Now I’m glad—not that you were upset, but that you were jarred into turning things around. You let the distress bring you to God, not drive you from him. The result was all gain, no loss.  Distress that drives us to God does that. It turns us around. It gets us back in the way of salvation. We never regret that kind of pain. But those who let distress drive them away from God are full of regrets; end up on a deathbed of regrets.”

    • Guilt is the alarm signal that allows us to be moral beings.
    • It is the feeling that tells us when we have transgressed an ethical principle or a Godly command.
    • God uses the feeling of guilt to help us experience a Godly sorrow that leads to repentance.
    • Guilt is a universal feeling that comes upon good people who have actually done something wrong; ethically, morally, socially, spiritually wrong.
  1. Guilt of the World (Unhealthy Guilt)
    • Guilt of the world is seen in people who may have some remorse over what they have done but it does not lead to repentance.
    • Their sorrow is rooted in the fact they were found out or caught.
    • It can also lead to a person experiencing generalized feelings of guilt and condemnation even when they have not done anything wrong.
  • They may feel guilty for setting an appropriate boundary or for just saying no to a request.
  • Worldly guilt is used by Satan and by sinful people to beat us down and incapacitate us.
  • Worldly guilt is an etherial feeling that cannot be easily shaken off and because we have not actually done something wrong, we can not repent.  Therefore, worldly guilt lingers and disturbs us.
  • Worldly guilt negatively impacts us in that we feel we can’t work for God or the advancement of His Kingdom.

 

Murphy Toerner – 1992

 

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Why Do People Change? — Commitment

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Unless one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness, concerning all acts of initiative and creation. There is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then PROVIDENCE moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one [...]

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h60r2HPsiuM

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